When rejection feels overwhelming
If criticism cuts deeper than it should, if perceived rejection sends you into emotional freefall, if you spend hours replaying moments where you might have been judged - you're not alone, and it's not a character flaw.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
RSD is an intense emotional response to perceived rejection, criticism, or failure. "Dysphoria" means "difficult to bear" - and that's exactly how it feels.
Anxious Expectation
Constantly anticipating rejection before it happens
Ready Perception
Reading rejection into neutral situations
Intense Reaction
Overwhelming emotional response when triggered
Good to know: RSD episodes are typically short-lived, often resolving within hours. The pain is intense but not permanent.
What RSD feels like
A wave of intense emotion that hits instantly - like being punched in the chest. It can feel like panic, despair, or rage all at once.
Many people describe actual physical sensations - chest tightness, stomach dropping, feeling winded, or a crushing weight.
Thoughts either freeze completely or spiral into worst-case scenarios. It becomes hard to think clearly or respond.
Long after others have moved on, you're still replaying the moment, analysing what went wrong, feeling the sting.
"It's like everyone else got a tutorial on how to handle criticism that I somehow missed. When someone says something even slightly negative, my whole world collapses for hours. I know logically it's not that serious, but my emotions don't get the memo."
— A common experience shared by many with ADHD
Common triggers
Everyone's triggers are different, but these are some of the most common situations that can set off an RSD response:
The ADHD connection
The same brain differences that affect attention in ADHD also affect emotional regulation. Emotions arrive faster, hit harder, and take longer to recover from.
Where does RSD come from?
RSD has a neurological basis, but life experiences can intensify it:
It's not a character flaw
If you've been told (or told yourself) things like these, here's the reality:
"You're just being too sensitive"
RSD is a neurological difference in how the brain processes social-emotional information. The pain is real, not imagined or exaggerated.
"Just don't take things personally"
The emotional response happens faster than conscious thought. It's not a choice - it's how your nervous system is wired.
"Everyone feels rejected sometimes"
While rejection hurts everyone, RSD involves a much more intense, rapid, and longer-lasting response that can be debilitating.
"You need thicker skin"
This isn't about resilience or willpower. The ADHD brain processes emotional pain differently at a fundamental level.
A different perspective
While RSD brings real challenges, many people find that the same sensitivity that makes rejection so painful also brings emotional depth that enriches their lives:
- Deep empathy and ability to understand others' feelings
- Strong emotional connections when relationships feel secure
- Passion and intensity that drives creativity and achievement
- Heightened awareness of social dynamics and others' needs
Understanding RSD isn't just about managing difficulties - it's also about recognising that your emotional sensitivity, when supported properly, can be a genuine strength.
What can help
While RSD can't be "cured," there are many strategies that can help reduce its intensity and impact:
A note on therapy: Some research suggests that traditional talk therapy approaches like CBT may have limited effectiveness for RSD on their own, because the emotional response happens faster than conscious thought. However, everyone is different - what works varies from person to person, and many people find therapy helpful as part of a broader approach. Work with your clinician to find what's right for you.
Recognising "this is RSD" in the moment can help create a small space between the trigger and your response.
When triggered, delay responding if possible. "Let me think about that" or "I'll get back to you" can prevent regrettable reactions.
Having someone who understands RSD and can offer perspective ("Was that really rejection or just a neutral comment?") is invaluable.
Understanding your specific triggers, warning signs, and recovery needs helps you prepare and respond more effectively.
Learning to treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend can help reduce the shame spiral that often follows RSD episodes.
Therapy (especially CBT or DBT), coaching, and sometimes medication can make a significant difference in managing RSD.
When to seek help
Consider talking to a professional if RSD is:
- Affecting your relationships - avoiding people, pushing them away, or constant conflict
- Impacting your work or education - avoiding opportunities, underperforming, or burnout
- Causing you to withdraw from activities you used to enjoy
- Leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms
- Contributing to depression, anxiety, or thoughts of self-harm
Important safety information
Research shows that severe rejection sensitivity can be associated with increased risk of suicidal thoughts, particularly during intense emotional episodes. If you're having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out for support immediately:
- UK: Samaritans - 116 123 (free, 24/7)
- US: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- International: findahelpline.com
A clinician who understands ADHD and emotional dysregulation can help you develop strategies and explore whether medication might be helpful.
Understanding your rejection sensitivity
One of the challenges with RSD has been putting words to something so internal and overwhelming. How do you explain it to others? How do you know if what you experience is "normal" or something more?
Our self-assessment helps you understand your rejection sensitivity across six key areas:
- How easily you're triggered
- The intensity of emotional pain
- How much you worry about rejection
- Your immediate reactions
- How long it takes to recover
- The impact on your daily life
Your results come with a personalised report explaining what they mean in everyday terms, plus helpful information about next steps.
Frequently asked questions
You're not alone in this
Millions of people experience RSD. Understanding it is the first step toward managing it. Take our self-assessment to learn more about your own rejection sensitivity patterns.